Movie Review: Texas Chainsaw (2013)

WildCinema Presents

Movie Review: Texas Chainsaw (2013)

                     Director: John Luessenhop

                                       Starring: Alexandra Daddario, Tania Raymonde 

 

The Lowdown:

Billed as a direct sequel to Tobe Hooper's terrifying 1974 orginal, Texas Chainsaw had pretty big shoes to fill to say the least. Does it deliever. In short, no.

 Alexandra Daddario plays Heather Miller the last of the Sawyer blood line, who inherits the family home. Heather and her friends head up there to check the place out, little do they know our buddy leatherface still lives there and is ready to pick them off one by one.

What should be an absolute riot turns out to be a badly directed, poorly written mess of a film. Riddled with contradictions that make it inconsistent with the original to say the least, Texas chainsaw feels like it was put together to make a quick buck, and it shows.

The film also misses opportunities to go bat shit crazy and give us the bloodiest TCM yet. Take for example the sequence where Leatherface pursues Heather through a carnival, this was a brilliant oppurtunity to have Leatherface rack up a serious body count killing everyone who gets in his path, but instead the filmmakers chickened out, i guess mediocrity is in this season.

The one thing the film has going for it is eye candy. Its looks great and there are some nice looking ladies in the form of Alexandra Daddario and Tania Raymonde. Raymonde being the hottest in my humble opinion, sorry Daddario fans. Anyways the film is nice to look at, but little else. 

This was a great opportunity to bring back Leatherface and bring him into this decade, bigger, bloodier and nastier. But sadly it just dosen't deliver.

Final Verdict:

Lousy writing, lousy direction, and a "twist" ending that hasn't been fresh since Halloween 4, this one is a stinker. See it, if only for the sight of Tania Raymonde and Alexandra Daddario, because everything else stinks

Rating:

This is a low blow for fans of the original. For a real sequel to the original check out the underrated Texas chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) its leaps and bounds better than anything here. 1 out of 5 stars.

Movie Review: Hatchet III (2013)

WildCinema Presents

Movie Review: Hatchet III (2013)

                              

                             
                                 Director: BJ McDonnell

                                 Starring:  Danielle Harris,  Kane Hodder, Zach Galligan

                                 Hatchet III IMDB Page :  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1870419/

      The Lowdown :

What some might consider Straight to DVD schlock-fest we at wild cinema consider highly anticipated sequel. 2010's slasher throwback Hatchet II left us all wanting more. Was Victor Crowley dead? Would Danielle Harris ever show us what we all really want to see...her sweet little naked body? Thankfully Hatchet III answers those questions and more.Literally following on from the last frame of its predecessor Hatchet III wastes no time in spilling the red stuff, in the first 5 minutes horror veteran Danielle Harris is covered head to toe in the blood of Victor Crowley who is dispatched via chainsaw to the groin which then rips him in half - ouch! Our heroine then walks into a police station to confess to killing Crowley and in the process is thrown in jail, stripped naked, and showered down Rambo style. 

The plot is pretty much the same as the previous two movies, a group heads into the swamp only to be dispatched one by one in inventive and often downright comical ways by Hulking maniac Crowley. Can they stop him for good this time? The movie flies by at a breakneck pace and theres rarely a dull moment, featuring lots of inventive gore and humor, long time fans should pretty much know what they're in for.

 Surprisingly however this time around for better or worse there is a distinct lack of nudity. Whats a slasher throwback without a few perfectly perk bussoms? Sigh. Perhaps to make up for the lack of boob there are quite a few familiar faces in this one, Zach Galligan of Gremlins fame plays the sheriff, Caroline Williams of Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 fame plays his estranged wife, we even have Roach from Wes Craven's People Under The Stairs in this, its like a horror fans wet dream - well not quite, but almost.

Hatchet III for the most part is a step up from Part 2 and should satisfy fans blood lust until the inevitable Hatchet IV. You heard it here first kids, Hatchet IV: Marybeth Strikes Back.

Final Verdict:

Slightly darker in tone than its predecessors Hatchet III delivers scares, gore, familiar faces, and a pretty nice side view of Danielle Harris's tooshie. Horror fans should be pretty pleased with this one.

Rating:

Pretty much how horror sequels should be done. 3 stars out of 5 for this.

Hatchet III will be available from all online retailers soon. In the meantime why not catch up with its predecessors in these great deals from amazon.

 Hatchet: Hatchet [DVD]

And Hatchet II: Hatchet 2 [DVD] 

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Tags: hatchet 3, review, danielle, harris , horror, movie, blog, wild cinema, kane hodder, slasher, 2013