Movie Review: Machete Kills (2013)

WildCinema Presents

Movie Review: Machete Kills (2013)

THE LOWDOWN

Starting life as a mock trailer the original Machete provided Danny Trejo with a badass action hero to call his own. And it seems that Danny and director Robert Rodriguez were just warming up beacuse Machete is back to kick more ass and once again save the day in this fun action packed sequel.

Yet again featuring an all star cast Machete Kills ups the ante considerably in true sequel style by recruiting the likes of Sofia Vegara, Lady Gaga, Charlie Sheen, Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding Jr and Mel Gibson to name a few and lets just put it this way, the cast does not disappoint, each celeb gets to ham it up. Sofia Vegara in paticular seems to enjoy parading around with machine guns for breasts and generally playing an over the top female badass, Mel Gibson is an unstopable supervillain and Charlie Sheen is the womanizing President of the United States. Also male viewers take note, theres lots of eye candy on offer here, attractive women fill nearly every frame of this movie, if you're in the mood for hot babes kicking ass, give this movie a try.

The plot is simple and the action is frequent, whats makes Machete Kills so watchable is its senseless and often times comical violence featuring Machete dispatching hordes of bad guys in inventive ways, some that wouldnt seem out of place in a Friday The 13th movie, Machete wipes out waves of enemies with a whole host of weapons, my personal fav being the inside out gun which turns people - you guessed it - inside out and leaves them as a huge pile of guts on the floor. Pretty cool if you ask me. Machete kills is action packed, its got supervillains, prostitute assasins and shapeshifting hitmen, but if you're looking for substance your watching the wrong movie.

Machete Kills ends showing us glimpses of whats to come next, Machete Kills in space, and if you ask us that looks like its going to be a hell of a good time, but given the film bomed at the box office who knows if we will see Machete in another outing, which is a shame as this is a great tongue in cheek action series and i would be sad to see it end here when the film makers are only just getting warmed up.

FINAL VERDICT

Babes, guns and buckets of blood. What more does a grown man need on a friday night?

 

Rating

3.5/5

Evil Dead (2013) Mini Review

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Evil Dead (2013) Mini Review

Here at WildCinema we love a good horror film. We love Evil Dead. So this pickup is a no brainer really. Ill cut to the chase, we live in the era of the reboot at the moment, Hollywood is churning out remake after remake of all our favorite movies, and lets be honest, most remakes suck the big one. Uninspired PG-13 drivel for the most part i know. But my friends Evil Dead is here to restore your faith in remakes somewhat, because it rocks!!

Internet trolls are divided on this film as it dosent feature the infamous Ash from the original trilogy. But dont let that put you off, this is a rip roaring good time, and quite possibly one of the best remakes ever. Featuring realistic practical effects over cgi, violence hasn't looked so brutal in a long time.

I'm going to keep this review short, this movie lived up to my expectations, fans of the original three should check this out as it is a really well done remake, and people who want a perfectly executed R-rated scare should also check this out. Not for the faint hearted mind you!!

Buy now at Amazon:

Evil Dead [Blu-ray] [2013]

Movie Review: Texas Chainsaw (2013)

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Movie Review: Texas Chainsaw (2013)

                     Director: John Luessenhop

                                       Starring: Alexandra Daddario, Tania Raymonde 

 

The Lowdown:

Billed as a direct sequel to Tobe Hooper's terrifying 1974 orginal, Texas Chainsaw had pretty big shoes to fill to say the least. Does it deliever. In short, no.

 Alexandra Daddario plays Heather Miller the last of the Sawyer blood line, who inherits the family home. Heather and her friends head up there to check the place out, little do they know our buddy leatherface still lives there and is ready to pick them off one by one.

What should be an absolute riot turns out to be a badly directed, poorly written mess of a film. Riddled with contradictions that make it inconsistent with the original to say the least, Texas chainsaw feels like it was put together to make a quick buck, and it shows.

The film also misses opportunities to go bat shit crazy and give us the bloodiest TCM yet. Take for example the sequence where Leatherface pursues Heather through a carnival, this was a brilliant oppurtunity to have Leatherface rack up a serious body count killing everyone who gets in his path, but instead the filmmakers chickened out, i guess mediocrity is in this season.

The one thing the film has going for it is eye candy. Its looks great and there are some nice looking ladies in the form of Alexandra Daddario and Tania Raymonde. Raymonde being the hottest in my humble opinion, sorry Daddario fans. Anyways the film is nice to look at, but little else. 

This was a great opportunity to bring back Leatherface and bring him into this decade, bigger, bloodier and nastier. But sadly it just dosen't deliver.

Final Verdict:

Lousy writing, lousy direction, and a "twist" ending that hasn't been fresh since Halloween 4, this one is a stinker. See it, if only for the sight of Tania Raymonde and Alexandra Daddario, because everything else stinks

Rating:

This is a low blow for fans of the original. For a real sequel to the original check out the underrated Texas chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) its leaps and bounds better than anything here. 1 out of 5 stars.

The future of The Terminator Franchise.

WildCinema Presents

The Terminator Franchise : The future

The Terminator has always been near and dear to me. Seeing the first two films at a young age clearly shaped my love for well written genre bending sci fi, and to this day the first two installments remain two of my favorite films.

Its after the first two installments where things took a nose dive quality wise. 2003's Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines was for most fans a disappointment. Gone is the James Cameron magic. Gone is Brad Fidel's haunting score. What we got was a pale imitation of a Terminator film that left a sour taste in everyone's mouth.

Terminator Salvation in 2009 seemed like it could be the film we had all be waiting for since 1984. A film that would show us the dark future of the previous three entries. But what we got barely resembled a Terminator flick. And with that, I and every other Terminator fan lost all hope.

Now in 2013 T5 is a certainty. Scheduled to start shooting in early 2014 what can we really expect?

Can we really expect anything as good as, or dare i say it better than James Cameron's own sequel Terminator 2:Judgment Day? Highly unlikely.

However we can all hope for a quality Terminator film. One that brings the series back from the brink. I guess we will all just have to hold our breath until more details are announced.

For now im just going to assume Hollywood will do us Terminator fans right and give us the dark gritty future war movie we all want and so desperately need.But with Schwarzenegger signing on who knows what angle this new film will take.Hopefully the right one. 

We need L.A. 2029 and we need it now. Whose with me?

Buy the Terminator Quadrilogy from Amazon here :

Terminator Quadrilogy [DVD] [2009]

Movie Review: Hatchet III (2013)

WildCinema Presents

Movie Review: Hatchet III (2013)

                              

                             
                                 Director: BJ McDonnell

                                 Starring:  Danielle Harris,  Kane Hodder, Zach Galligan

                                 Hatchet III IMDB Page :  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1870419/

      The Lowdown :

What some might consider Straight to DVD schlock-fest we at wild cinema consider highly anticipated sequel. 2010's slasher throwback Hatchet II left us all wanting more. Was Victor Crowley dead? Would Danielle Harris ever show us what we all really want to see...her sweet little naked body? Thankfully Hatchet III answers those questions and more.Literally following on from the last frame of its predecessor Hatchet III wastes no time in spilling the red stuff, in the first 5 minutes horror veteran Danielle Harris is covered head to toe in the blood of Victor Crowley who is dispatched via chainsaw to the groin which then rips him in half - ouch! Our heroine then walks into a police station to confess to killing Crowley and in the process is thrown in jail, stripped naked, and showered down Rambo style. 

The plot is pretty much the same as the previous two movies, a group heads into the swamp only to be dispatched one by one in inventive and often downright comical ways by Hulking maniac Crowley. Can they stop him for good this time? The movie flies by at a breakneck pace and theres rarely a dull moment, featuring lots of inventive gore and humor, long time fans should pretty much know what they're in for.

 Surprisingly however this time around for better or worse there is a distinct lack of nudity. Whats a slasher throwback without a few perfectly perk bussoms? Sigh. Perhaps to make up for the lack of boob there are quite a few familiar faces in this one, Zach Galligan of Gremlins fame plays the sheriff, Caroline Williams of Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 fame plays his estranged wife, we even have Roach from Wes Craven's People Under The Stairs in this, its like a horror fans wet dream - well not quite, but almost.

Hatchet III for the most part is a step up from Part 2 and should satisfy fans blood lust until the inevitable Hatchet IV. You heard it here first kids, Hatchet IV: Marybeth Strikes Back.

Final Verdict:

Slightly darker in tone than its predecessors Hatchet III delivers scares, gore, familiar faces, and a pretty nice side view of Danielle Harris's tooshie. Horror fans should be pretty pleased with this one.

Rating:

Pretty much how horror sequels should be done. 3 stars out of 5 for this.

Hatchet III will be available from all online retailers soon. In the meantime why not catch up with its predecessors in these great deals from amazon.

 Hatchet: Hatchet [DVD]

And Hatchet II: Hatchet 2 [DVD] 

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Tags: hatchet 3, review, danielle, harris , horror, movie, blog, wild cinema, kane hodder, slasher, 2013